I was officially diagnosed with ADHD last week. I have talked with several doctors over the years and they each dismissed my concerns as symptoms of my anxiety, depression, and PTSD. About a year ago, I found a checklist on the Additude website and started crying because it almost described me 100%. I printed out the checklist and took it to my psychiatrist. He was still not convinced and told me I would have to make an appointment with their office in Raleigh for very extensive and expensive testing. I honestly felt like I was being accused of just trying to get ADHD medications. I decided to contact Dr. James Byassee, the doctor who diagnosed both Jarrod and Joseph. We met a couple of times and I completed LOTS of rating scales. Jarrod also had some homework to complete. After reviewing the scores, Dr. Byassee said that I clearly met the criteria for an ADHD diagnosis.
On one of the rating scales, I had to reflect on my childhood. I was a rule follower and was terrified to get in trouble; however, I clearly remember having to stay inside during recess or other fun activities to finish incomplete work (especially math). One year, a substitute became upset because I hadn’t finished a math worksheet when everyone else was done. My peers spoke up and told her it takes me longer to finish, because “Dana’s not good at math.” I remember having to stay inside from recess in kindergarten because I didn’t follow directions and incorrectly completed a cut and paste worksheet.
I’ve always struggled with self esteem and confidence issues. I am very easily embarrassed and can be the brunt of jokes. I am always running late, even if I wake up super early! I forget things, misunderstand directions, and procrastinate on everything.
When I’ve talked to people about ADHD, they frequently tell me I always seem to “have it all together.” That couldn’t be further from the truth. They don’t see me in tears at home trying to find something I lost or exhausted at 2:00 in the morning trying to finish IEP paperwork. I’ve been called lazy and told I need to apply myself more. A friend saw one of my to do lists and laughed because it was broken down into such simple steps, such as brush teeth, shower, get dressed, take medicine, feed dogs, etc. She asked why in the world I would need a list to remind me to do these things and I explained that without the list, I would lose track of time or get consumed by something else. Mornings are pure hell for me! Not only do I have to get myself ready, but I have to get my kids up and out the door. When school start times changed and I was supposed to be at work by 7:00, life became extremely stressful and miserable.
Dr. Byassee encouraged me to also look at the positive aspects of having ADHD. I have lots of great ideas and when I’m able to delegate to others I can accomplish great things. For almost 6 years I’ve organized weekly dinners at the Ronald McDonald House. I’ve learned tricks to help this be a success, such as choosing 5 or 6 menus and rotating through them instead of trying to think of something different each week. I created lists of items needed for each meal, then I simply copy and paste those lists on Facebook.
I am including the link and a copy of the questions from the Additude checklist at the end of this Blog post. The next step in my journey is finding a psychiatrist who is open to this new diagnosis. I will do my best to keep you all posted!
https://www.additudemag.com/adhd-symptoms-in-women/
ADHD Symptoms in Adult Women
Do you feel overwhelmed in stores, at the office, or at parties? Is it impossible for you to shut out sounds and distractions that don’t bother others?
Is time, money, paper, or “stuff” dominating your life and hampering your ability to achieve your goals?
Do you often shut down in the middle of the day, feeling assaulted? Do requests for “one more thing” put you over the top emotionally?
Are you spending most of your time coping, looking for things, catching up, or covering up? Do you avoid people because of this?
Have you stopped having people over to your house because you’re ashamed of the mess?
Do you have trouble balancing your checkbook?
Do you often feel as if life is out of control, and that it’s impossible to meet demands?
Do you feel like you’re always at one end of a deregulated activity spectrum — either a couch potato or a tornado?
Do you feel that you have better ideas than other people but are unable to organize them or act on them?
Do you start each day determined to get organized, and end each day feeling defeated?
Have you watched others of equal intelligence and education pass you by?
Do you despair of ever fulfilling your potential and meeting your goals?
Have you ever been thought of as selfish because you don’t write thank-you notes or send birthday cards?
Are you clueless as to how others manage to lead consistent, regular lives?
Is all your time and energy taken up with coping, staying organized, and holding it together, with no time for fun or relaxation?
Are you called “a slob” or “spacey?” Are you “passing for normal?” Do you feel as if you are an impostor?
