Cancer

I received an unusually late phone call from my mom on Friday night, June 14th. I didn't answer it (I rarely answer late phone calls from my mom...that's another story.) The next morning, Jarrod, the boys, and I were on our way to our neices' B'Not Mitzvah when I listened to my voicemail. My mom was telling me that her doctor's office called and told her to go straight to the hospital because her blood sodium level was dangerously low. A few minutes later Raeford called to tell me that Mama was in ICU. I was very surprised, but not panicked because I knew other people who had issues with low blood sodium. It wasn't a "life or death situation." 

The normal blood sodium range is 135-145. When Mama got to the hospital her level was 108. The doctor said at that level she was at risk of a stroke or coma. A week later, we still had no idea why her sodium level was so low. Then a scan of her chest showed areas of concern in her lungs. The doctors suspected cancer...I had no idea that low blood sodium could be caused by lung cancer, but I've learned a lot about it now.

On June 25th, my sister and I, along with our husbands and several of Mama's friends, met with one of the doctors. On my notepad I wrote.....

• small cell lung cancer
• spread through chest
• inoperable
• no cure for this type of cancer
• chemotherapy is an option/maybe radiation (to keep cancer from spreading)
• at least stage 2
• SIADH- causing low sodium levels - can go away with treatment of the cancer
• NCI - National Cancer Institute

I've tried to limit my time with Dr. Google, but I admit I have done a lot of searches on "Small Cell Lung Cancer." What I've read isn't good. 

Through all of this, I am so thankful for my church, friends, family, and coworkers for loving and supporting my family. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers!

Much love to you all!

Dana

Ronald McDonald House

In January, Jarrod and I had a conversation about his 40th birthday...he didn't want a big party, so we decided to honor his special day by serving the awesome families at the Ronald McDonald House in Durham. When the day finally came it was more awesome than we could have ever imagined!!

March 17, 2013

Our amazing group of friends and family who came to show some love to the Ronald McDonald House!

The families loved the food!! Jarrod's family makes a dish called "red chicken" and by the end of the night there was only a small container of leftovers! The ribs provided by our neighbor were also a big hit!!

Joseph was a big help with the cookies!

Jarrod's mom, Jan, is famous for her HUGE batches of chocolate chip cookies! 

The families were excited about the leftovers. :) At the end of the night, we sealed them up in ziplock bags so they could have a snack in their rooms later. 

Connie and her girls loved helping out! They want to come back and volunteer in the future. 

The Birthday Boy!!

The kids were awesome...especially since some of them were there for many hours helping out!

Sweet Eli and Shannon!

This lady has been at the House since September 2012. Her daughter was CURED of sickle cell...and they left the House to return home the day after we visited!

Jarrod's sister, Jennifer, was amazing...she has lots of experience cooking for large groups of people! She is always in charge of the meal planning when we all go to the beach! :)

Of course, we forgot something at the House and had to go back the next day. This was a great opportunity for a picture with Ronald! :)

Legopalooza

Jarrod and a friend from our Lego Group took 3 super excited boys to the "Legopalooza" event at Morehead Planetarium on March 16th. They loved looking at all of the awesome displays. 

"What's this Daddy?" The boys didn't know anything about Ghostbusters! 

Jarrod got some great panoramic shots.

Jarrod was drooling over the vintage Legos and the super organized display cases!

The ski village was awesome...lots of cool details.

Check out these adorable Lego fans!!

Fear

Recently, Joseph has been experiencing a lot of fear and anxiety at bedtime. It's not just "trying to get out of going to bed." It is real fear. I remember experiencing this as a child...I was very fearful and worried about EVERYTHING! I don't want Joseph to let fear control him...it is so hard as a parent to handle these types of situations...especially when you are tired and just want to go to sleep!

His current fear is of someone breaking into our house. I can't tell him that will never happen. I've explained to him that the dogs would go crazy if someone tried to break in and that would wake up Daddy. He replied, "So, what could Daddy do about it? He doesn't even know how to fight." (I had to giggle a little when he said that!) Jarrod has tried to explain to him that if our family were in danger, he would do everything in his power to protect us. Joseph then started worrying that the bad guy might have a gun and shoot Daddy.

These are real fears...these things could happen...we live in a world where evil is real...bad guys are real...

I've just been praying with him every night and teaching him how to pray. Here are some Bible verses that we've used when praying:

Psalm 27:1

The LORD is my light and my salvation-- whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life-- of whom shall I be afraid?

Deuteronomy 31:6

Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

Isaiah 41:13

For I am the LORD, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

ADHD

I've been asked, "Why do you tell people that Joseph has ADHD? Shouldn't that be kept private?"

My response.... WHY?? It's not something to be ashamed of!

As a teacher, I've encountered many different viewpoints on ADHD. Many parents refuse to even consider an ADHD diagnosis. Others refuse to consider medical interventions. Each family has the right to choose what's best for their family, but do NOT try to make me feel embarrassed or ashamed...or like a "bad parent" for our family's choices!

I've heard....

ADHD isn't real...it's just an excuse for bad parenting and letting kids have too much freedom.

I'm not going to put my kid on medicine just to make the teacher's job easier.

I guess I'll have to swallow my pride and try medicine for my kid.

Instead of ranting on and on about a subject that I am passionate about, I will just tell about our experience...

My husband has ADHD and is currently taking medication. In my opinion, this medication is just as important as blood pressure medicine or a hearing aid...it helps him live a productive and successful life. It has helped him personally, professionally, and physically.

As a special education teacher, I know the signs and symptoms of ADHD. When Joseph was very young I immediately recognized ADHD characteristics. In kindergarten he struggled to focus and had a hard time completing his work. When given free time, he moved from one activity to another, rarely finishing anything. First grade was even more difficult due to increased academic expectations. He rarely finished ANYTHING in class and was so distracted that he needed to have his desk moved away from his peers. We even tried a "wiggle seat" to help with his need to constantly move. Joseph goes to the school where I work and I admit that it was hard to see him isolated in class, but I knew that was what he needed...he was a distraction not only to himself, but also to his peers. Both his kindergarten and first grade teachers noted that he had strong academic abilities, but it just didn't show in his work (or lack of work)!

Jarrod and I decided to have him evaluated by the same doctor who worked with Jarrod when he moved to North Carolina. There was CLEAR evidence that Joseph has ADHD. His academic testing showed strong skills, especially in reading. The choice to us was clear...he would immediately begin medication to help him meet his full potential. The difference has been night and day...amazing. Now, it hasn't been an overnight "miracle cure." We have tried 3 different medications and several different dosages. As Joseph grows, we realize we will need to make adjustments. It was important for us to find the right medication, rather than trying one and saying, "It doesn't work, let's just give up!"

Joseph is very aware of the need to him to take medicine. At one time the doctor wrote the prescription for 5mg capsules so we could see what dosage worked best...Joseph told me that 3 pills was the best and helped him pay attention. He calls it his concentration medicine. Thankfully, with me being at his school he will come to my class if I forget to give him the medicine...he immediately notices a difference when he gets to class if he doesn't take it.

We talk openly with Joseph about his ADHD and the medicine...we never want him to feel ashamed or defeated because of it. Of course, we also don't let him use it as an excuse to get out of doing challenging work! :)

We are all very proud of Joseph...we're also thankful for the teachers and doctors who have helped him along the way!

If any of you ever want to talk about our experience or need advice, please feel free to ask! We are very open in talking about ADHD because

IT IS NOT SOMETHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!

Disney World (Part 1)

I have a feeling that there will be several posts about our Disney vacation, so I titled this "Part 1."

First, here is some background info...

The week before Christmas in 2010, we went on a family vacation to Disney World. The boys had fun and we learned a lot about what we would do differently next time. Unfortunately, the trip was VERY stressful for me and Jarrod. I thought it would be great for our family to get away from our daily stress...but I was wrong. Jarrod had been unemployed for about 9 months at this point and even though we were given money for this trip as a Christmas gift, it was still stressful to go and spend money knowing the tight financial situation that we were facing back at home. I also didn't realize that from mid-December to New Year's is the busiest time of year at Disney. The rides had LONG waits and the crowds were INSANE. Jarrod doesn't always do well with big crowds like that, especially when he's already under a lot of stress.

When I brought up the idea of going back to Disney, Jarrod was a little hesitant...but after we talked about it we knew that it would be different this time and...

It was amazing!!!

There are several reasons that this trip was so successful...

• Jarrod has a job so we are in a more stable financial situation (however, everything started to break down the week before we left! Ugh!)
• We decided to go during fall break which is not an extremely crowded time. This is another reason that I love year-round schools...our fall break is my favorite!
• Free Dining Plan! All of our meals were covered...we were able to eat at some really cool restaurants!
• Staying at a Disney resort costs more, but the convenience of using their transportation and taking advantage of Extra Magic Hours makes it worth it.
• We decided to stay at a resort with an AWESOME pool and it was within walking distance to Epcot. 

Jarrod and I are thankful that we were able to take this trip as a family...especially since we don't get to spend a lot of time together since Jarrod is still working in Maryland. I promise that I will write more details about our trip...with pictures!! :) 

The End of the Wasp Season

I was hanging out at the pool with Joseph and Eli last Sunday and I saw someone reading a book titled...

The End of the Wasp Season

I had no idea what the book was about, but the title of the book felt like a slap in the face. It brought back many of the emotions and grief of my father's death a year ago. I can't believe it has been a year since he was stung by that wasp. I haven't written about it very much, but I think now is the time...

On the first day of the 2011-2012 school year, I was sitting in my classroom frantically working on my schedule when I got a phone call...my dad had been stung by a wasp...one wasp...on his finger. He went into anaphylactic shock and the EMS was trying to revive him. He had just enjoyed lunch at his favorite Mexican restaurant with his sister and was at her house for the afternoon. He reached down to pick up a flower pot...that's when he was stung. He said something like, "Damn it, I've been stung." Due to his history of severe allergic reactions to stings, my aunt turned to get her keys to head straight to the hospital, but within seconds he was on the floor and had stopped breathing.

He went approximately 50 minutes with no oxygen to his brain. The doctors were able to restart his heart, but we knew the situation was serious. Our family still had lots of hope, because he had already overcome a massive stroke just a few years earlier...we were told he wouldn't survive that stroke and if he did he would never be able to talk or feed himself or remember any of us...but he proved them all wrong. This time it was very different though...several tests showed that he had no brain activity and his organs were beginning to shut down. We quickly realized that he was already gone...only the machines and medicines were keeping his heart pumping.

Two short days later, my dad's close family stood by while the machines were stopped. I didn't know what to expect...even though the doctors and nurses had prepared us as best as they could. It was all over rather quickly...he was gone. Even though I didn't have a very close relationship with my dad, I loved him very much and it was hard losing him so suddenly. I worried about my aunt who was with him when he was stung...she blamed herself even though there was nothing that could have been done...the doctors said an epi pen wouldn't have saved him because the reaction was so severe. The EMS hit him 6 times with epi and he didn't respond at all. I worried about my sister who was so close to my dad...I knew it would be extremely hard on her, but she has done a great job managing her grief this year.

The next few days went by in a blur...and I was overwhelmed by the outpouring of support from everyone...my sister-in-law kept Eli, a friend brought dinner to the hospital, another friend picked up Joseph from school, etc, etc, etc. I feel like I never properly thanked all of the people who loved us, prayed for us, and supported us through that time of grief. If you are reading this, please accept my apology for not appropriately thanking you...I love you all so much!

With All My Love,
Dana