What a Week!

After my pity party last week, I decided to start this week with a more positive attitude...I was somewhat successful.

On Monday, Joseph and I had the day off and I had lots planned for us to accomplish! I woke up late and decided to keep Eli home with us instead of taking him to preschool. Big mistake! My list of things to accomplish was changed drastically....sometimes the boys play nicely together, but lately I have felt like a referree! We ended up sending something to Jarrod by FedEx, getting the car inspected, having lunch at Cracker Barrell with a gift card from Christmas, and heading back to the house. Later in the afternoon a good friend called to ask if we had dinner plans. We met her family at Pizza Inn and had a lot of fun! Even though I didn't get a lot accomplished on my "To Do" list, I still had fun with my boys...well, most of it was fun.

On Tuesday, it was back to work. Nothing too exciting happened that day...except the FedEx package arrived over an hour late and I got a full refund of the $27 I spent!

On Wednesday, I had a late meeting and didn't leave school until almost 5:00. I wasn't feeling great (my energy is still low from being sick) and I was tempted to go home and crash! Instead, I took the boys to Awana at church and spent some much needed girl time with a friend!

On Thursday, the boys and I came home earlier than usual because I had a lot of work to do. I had paperwork to complete for a meeting and totally procrastinated! In the end, I got it all done and was prepared for Friday's meeting.

On Friday, our family celebrated Joseph's 7th birthday!! After school, Joseph and I headed to the movie theater and he was SO SURPRISED when Jarrod and Eli met us there! He had no idea that his Daddy had come home early and picked up Eli. We had a wonderful time at the theater and are enjoying some quiet time at home now....well, mostly quiet...Eli just came in the room crying because Joseph smacked his arm. Here we go again....

Here is one of my favorite pictures of Joseph when he was a baby....

Feeling Defeated

***Warning....this is a pity party! It is VERY long!  I just need to vent tonight....

After getting so much accomplished during my break from work, I am feeling so defeated tonight. I knew I wouldn't be able to continue decluttering at the same pace, but I wasn't expecting so many things to go wrong this week. Before I get into my venting, let me explain a little bit about how I grew up...

I love my grandmother dearly. I grew up with her and have a very close relationship with her now. When I was young, especially during my teenage years, when I would complain she would say, "So many people have it worse off than you." My response...."Yeah, but so many people have it a lot better than me, too!" (Remember, I was a teenager!) As an adult, when I get overwhelmed or stressed, I constantly think about all of the people who have it worse than me. Sometimes this is good, but sometimes it is bad...I start putting unreasonable expectations on myself...

• If she can work 2 jobs, take her 3 kids to dance and soccer, volunteer at the school, and teach Sunday School, I should be able to handle _________.
• If she can take care of 5 kids after her husband left her, work full time, and never complain, I shouldn't complain about Jarrod working out of town during the week.
• If she can drop off her kids at 3 different schools and always get to work on time looking like she stepped out of a magazine, then I should not be late almost every morning!

There are many problems with this way of thinking. First, it makes you start to envy and resent other people, a lot of times these people are your friends. It damages relationships and does nothing to ease any of the stress that you are feeling. Second, sometimes it is therapeutic to let yourself have a pity party, without comparing yourself to anyone else. It can help to let go of everything you have bottled up inside...especially if you have friends and family that you can trust not to judge you or put you down. Third, it is also important to remember that these people that you are comparing yourself to are all dealing with their own issues. I sometimes negatively compare myself to one particular "Super Mom" who seems to always "have it all together." Sadly I recently learned about some serious issues she is dealing with in her life.

I am now going to have my own pity party....I need to stop thinking that I should be able to handle everything on my own and keep it bottled up. I am only sharing these things so my friends will be able to support me and pray for me. This is not meant to make anyone feel sorry for me, because I do realize how SUPER BLESSED my life is!

Lately I have been feeling like a total failure as a wife, mother, teacher, friend, home owner, dog owner, church member, etc...  I don't feel successful in any of these areas. I constantly feel overwhelmed and "barely hanging on."

As a wife, I know when my husband comes home on the weekends it is stressful for him to walk into a house in chaos. I made so much progress on decluttering, but this past week I went back to work, got sick, had a sick dog that woke me up almost every 2 hours, etc. The house was truly a wreck when he got home. I feel really bad for not making our home a more welcoming environment.

As a mother, I constantly feel guilty because I don't have the boys signed up for sports, scouts, lessons, etc. The only extracurricular thing they are doing right now is Awana at church. I have promised Joseph that I will sign him up for guitar lessons, but I haven't done that yet. I think Eli would love to get involved with sports, but I keep missing the deadlines to sign him up.

As a teacher, I feel pulled in so many different directions....teaching, testing, paperwork, meetings. There is never enough time in the day. This is my 15th year teaching and I LOVE my school and LOVE my students; however, I don't love the direction that our public schools are heading. More and more expectations on teachers with less staff to get it all accomplished.

As a friend, I have been feeling very guilty for not doing a better job staying connected and finding time to get together. On the weekends, my time is usually devoted to Jarrod since I don't see him during the week. During the week, if I want to have a Girls Night Out, I have to find someone to watch the boys. I've recently been feeling like I may have hurt a friend's feelings because she hasn't been talking to me as much as usual...maybe I'm just paranoid and she's just super busy like me.

I am not going to continue going through each area of my life....I think the blog has a limit on how long your posts can be! :) I would like to thank you all for the encouragement you've been giving me as I declutter. Today I stayed in my pajamas and napped on the couch while trying to recover from this bad cold (I think it's just a cold.) I hope to get back to my projects soon!

Thanks for letting me have my pity party! Now it's time to get back to work!!

More Progress

Even though I am not posting to my blog every day, I am still working on the decluttering challenges. I decluttered and organized our medicine shelf. I was shocked by how many of the medicines were expired! :(  Here are before/after pictures:

It feels really nice having this cabinet cleaned out. I am excited that I am starting to see progress in so many different areas. Slowly, but surely my house is getting less chaotic!

The projects on the decluttering calendar for the next 3 days said to go through one bathroom drawer or shelf. I decided to focus on 3 shelves in the linen closet. Even though it isn't technically in the bathroom, it stores all of our towels and some of our extra toiletries. I couldn't wait to tell Jarrod that I found one of the attachments for the vacuum cleaner. He has been asking me about it for a long time!

Here are those before/after pictures:

I am NOT good at folding sheets (obviously!) When Jarrod gets home I will ask him to help me fold them again.

The decluttering calendar now has 6 days in a row to go through a storage shelf or pile. This is going to be a big challenge for me....I have LOTS of "piles" of stuff to sort through!! Stay tuned for more updates!!

Bad Mommy

Something just reminded me of a story that I wanted to share...

When Joseph was about 3 months old he suddenly started having horrible tummy problems and diarrhea. He would scream and cry...I couldn't figure out what was going on with him. He didn't have any other symptoms of illness, but would kick his legs and scream like his stomach was in a lot of pain. As I was telling my assistants about his problems, one of them said, "Since you're breastfeeding, maybe it's something that you're eating. Have you been eating anything different?" I immediately knew what the problem was...I had recently tried Hot and Spicy TABASCO Cheese Its...and I fell in love with them. I was eating them by the handfuls. My poor baby!!! No wonder his tummy was hurting!! BAD MOMMY!!!!

More decluttering updates coming soon....

JUNK!

I survived the challenge to clean out and organize the "junk drawer." It is now used for pens, pencils, paper clips, notepads, etc. Joseph was a big help with this project. He enjoyed sorting through everything, but had a hard time with getting rid of the trash. He had a reason to keep each thing I put in the trash pile. I tried to explain the reason that we are decluttering and he agreed that it feels good to look at an area that is neat and organized. To see the "before" picture of the junk drawer, check out my last post. Here is the "after" picture:

I also completed a couple of other projects: get rid of hair things that I don't wear anymore and toss expired skin care products. I recently went through a lot of the "junk" in my bathroom, so there wasn't a lot that I needed to throw away this time. My next project is to get rid of expired medications. I will take this opportunity to organize our medicine cabinet (it's actually a shelf.)

Thanks to all of you for the encouragement! I now look forward to posting on the blog after each project...not because I want to "show off," but because I want to encourage those of you who are also struggling with clutter to join me on this journey. It's actually quite embarrassing to post the "before" pictures, but I think it's important to document my progress.

We Found Baby Jesus!

Yep, imagine our surprise...right there under our bed...sweet Baby Jesus!! He had been missing from the Little People Nativity...we also found one of the Wise Men!

I know I said I wouldn't take any pictures as I was cleaning out under my bed, but I changed my mind. :) I threw all of the trash directly into the trashcan and put everything else on my bed...it was really messy under there!

Joseph was VERY interested in the box of greeting cards/stationery that I kept under the bed. Isn't that where all of you keep those?! I decided to put all of the cards and notepaper in a smaller box to keep in a more accessible place. I put a few blankets and things we don't normally use in the long storage case to go back under the bed.

Here are some close up shots of the JUNK that was under there...

So glad I finally found those flip flops...especially now that it is WINTER! I save those Coke caps to enter the codes online for points...I have redeemed those points for some awesome things. I need to enter the codes at least once a week and then toss the caps...Jarrod hates finding those caps everywhere! :)

Another missing shoe! YAY! That dog bowl has been missing for a LONG time...I'm sure the dogs will be happy to finally eat again. LOL (Just kidding...no need to call animal control!)

One sad observation that I made....that comforter is from my freshman year in college!!! 1993! My roommate/best friend, Cheryl, and I had matching comforters and sheets. I guess now that I have a picture of it I can get rid of it. :) Now I need to call Cheryl and see if she still has hers!

My next challenge was to clean off a shelf in my bedroom. I decided to clean off the top of my jewelry armoire (I think that's what it's called...that just sounds so fancy!) The top of it is supposed to lift up...it hasn't lifted up in a LONG time.

While cleaning that off I found a check someone wrote for some Avon over a year ago...I am such a bad business person! :( Of course I won't try to cash the check...I will just use this as a lesson that living with clutter can also make you lose money!!

Here is my next project....not looking forward to this...

THE JUNK DRAWER

Extreme Clutter

While browsing the Internet tonight I saw a video clip of MacKenzie Phillips talking about her clutter. She is on an episode of Extreme Clutter on Oprah's network. I've never heard of the show, but found an episode coming up and set the DVR to record it, just to see what it's about. From the few minutes of the clip that I watched, her house wasn't completely cluttered (nothing like an episode of Hoarders.) She felt that she needed to let go of items from her past as a drug abuser. One website explained that organization "expert" Peter Walsh helps people whose lives have been dramatically affected by overwhelming clutter. He guides families through the emotional journey of overcoming their attachment to material items by pinpointing the root of their problems and guiding them towards a clutter-free life.

I know that there are situations from my past that make it very difficult for me to let go of certain items. For me, the clutter is not simply caused by having too much stuff and not enough space....there are other reasons why it is EXTREMELY difficult for me to live "clutter-free." I am dealing with those issues and trying to stay focused on creating a home free of "material chaos" for my children and husband.

Today I cleaned out a nightstand drawer and cleared the top of that nightstand (sorry, I ran out of time to take pictures.) Some people may think it is silly to do these random projects...one shelf in the kitchen, one drawer in the bedroom...but for me it provides a small sense of accomplishment every day. If I try to tackle an entire room, I will get overwhelmed and quit....been there, done that! But one drawer, I know I can do that! Tomorrow's project might be more of a challenge....clean out from under my bed!!! There will also be NO pictures of that...that would be too embarrassing, even for me. :)

Thank you for all of the encouraging comments! I am definitely feeling motivated to continue documenting this journey!