True Confessions

I recently became very upset with someone for always blaming other people for their mistakes...never taking responsibility for their own actions. I try not to blame other people or even my past for the mistakes I make. When things don't go my way, I try not to say, "It's because of my childhood....it's because of this person..." As I was thinking about this, I started thinking about my own faults....I have no one to blame for these things but myself:

First - I have always struggled with jealousy. Even as an adult, I sometimes struggle to be excited for others when good things happen to them. Wow, that was hard to admit, but it is true.

Second - I am a pack-rat. Yep, it's true! I have a hard time throwing things away. Maybe it's because I'm lazy, maybe it's because I have an obsession with finding a good deal, maybe it's because I'm impulsive and buy things I don't really need, maybe it's because I'm unfocused and go from one project to another without ever finishing anything.

Third - I have a really bad temper...really, really bad! For the most part, I can keep it under control at work and around friends. My poor family is usually the target of my temper. In the past I had several episodes of violent outbursts (never with  my kids, I swore they would not experience anything like that!) When Jarrod and I were first married, I would be very destructive just to get a reaction out of him! I couldn't stand it when he would just walk away from an argument! I would throw things, break things...anything to get his attention! One day I might share my "sweet tea" story with you all! I've spent lots of time in prayer and in therapy, and by the Grace of God, Jarrod stuck with me. My anger now usually comes out in the form of yelling and lots of crying. I have to keep reminding myself to turn to God to help me when I feel like I'm losing control. I have to give up control of everything...and give it all to Him!

I think I will stop here for tonight, before I make you all afraid to come around me! :) I thank God for all of my friends and family who have stood by me through the good times and bad!