Forgiveness

I am so glad I went to Sunday School yesterday! I am excited about a new series that we are studying...it is all about forgiveness. Today's lesson reviewed some of the reasons that people don't forgive others...and I could relate to every one of them!

Here are 5 excuses we give for not forgiving someone:

1. The hurt is too big. I can relate to this. If someone does something small to hurt me, I find it easy to forgive them....but "big" hurts like physical or emotional abuse, neglect, etc....those are very difficult to forgive. A good friend once told me that hurting people hurt people. That makes sense to me. When I think of the people who have hurt me, especially in my childhood, I can see how they were hurting too.
2. Time will heal it on its own. I tend to ignore things rather than face them up front. I hate confrontation...I would rather avoid the person who hurt me rather than rehash the situation. I have recently learned that bottling things up is not at all a healthy way to live...I had a situation where I became very angry with someone who hurt me in the past. I let YEARS of anger explode....I released all of that pent up rage that I had been ignoring. I didn't handle it in a very mature way and I regret it.
3. I'm not forgiving them until they say sorry first. One of my biggest fears is telling someone who hurt me, "I forgive you," and have them deny the whole experience ever happened. I have to realize that when I forgive them, I am clearing my heart from the hurt...but they will have to deal with their guilt or denial in their own way. It is not my job to judge them...I am only told to forgive them. Just like I was forgiven by God when I didn't deserve it.
4. I can't forgive what I can't forget. I experienced or witnessed some very disturbing things when I was a child. I have had a hard time getting past those images that replay in my head. Through counseling and prayer, I have come to accept that those things all led me to be the person I am today. I promised that I would never let my children experience those things and I have become very sensitive to others who are hurting. When I see someone in need I want to do everything I can to help them...I believe that my past experiences have made me more aware of the needs of others. When I forgive those who hurt me I know the memories won't completely go away. In time they have faded and I no longer see them in vibrant color...now they are mostly fuzzy black and white.
5. If I forgive them, they will just do it again. Apparently we will discuss this issue in more detail during the next few weeks. I have a very hard time forgiving "repeat offenders." When I know the person hasn't changed and will continue the abusive behavior, it is so difficult to forgive them. I need to come to terms with what it means to "forgive." It doesn't mean you condone the behavior or allow that person to continue hurting you. You can forgive them, but then make sure they aren't able to hurt you again. I think about the women in my life who repeatedly went back to abusive boyfriends/husbands. The abusers begged, "Please forgive me. I will never do that again." It is ok to forgive them, but they shouldn't be given the power to continue hurting you.

Wow....sorry this is so long, but I am glad I took the time to reflect on yesterday's lesson. It is obvious that I need to learn a lot more about forgiveness...and I also need to seek out those who I have hurt and ask them to forgive me.

Blessings

On Monday, Jarrod and I talked about planning a Valentine's date for this weekend since we wouldn't be able to celebrate together on Valentine's Day.  I told him I would ask my friend to watch the boys on Saturday so we could go to lunch and a movie. Wednesday night he asked if everything was in order for our date....well I had forgotten to ask my friend, so I wrote "TEXT JENNIFER" on my To Do List for Thursday.

Thursday morning I pulled out my phone to send a text...and I already had a text from Jennifer. It said:

Hey girl! Could I get the boys around 12:00 on Saturday? Our class is having a party at Wheels for the kids and their families. I thought they would enjoy it if you don't already have plans.

Are you kidding me?! She ASKED to watch our boys on the exact day and time that we needed her.

That's not a coincidence....that was totally God planned!

The boys had a fabulous time at Wheels...they also went to Walmart with her and ran some other errands. She dropped them off at our house around 7:30. They are tired and I'm sure they will sleep GREAT tonight!

Jarrod and I enjoyed our date...we had lunch at Tripps and then saw The Vow at Northgate. I told Jarrod that if I woke up from a coma and Channing Tatum told me he was my husband, I wouldn't question it! LOL :) He kept trying to make me cover my eyes during certain parts of the movie!!

What a great weekend...so many blessings to be thankful for...and I even get an extra day off from school on Monday! Long weekend!!! Thank you, Lord!!

Question #1

I got some great questions/ideas for blog topics...so I will start with one question and work my way through them. You can keep sending ideas. :)

Someone asked, "Are you planning to move to Maryland with Jarrod?" I get asked that question ALL THE TIME. I figured this is a great time to answer it....

The boys and I are not planning to move to Maryland. Jarrod and I have discussed this MANY times. It is so hard for him to be away from us during the week. I know he would love having us there with him; however, the field of work that he is in can be so unpredictable and unstable. There's too big of a risk for us move to Maryland...Jarrod could be laid off...or transferred to New York...or receive a great job offer back in North Carolina. A couple of other reasons...

• The cost of living is so much higher in the area where he is working. I looked into 1 bedroom apartments for him and the rent is higher than what we are paying for our house!

• North Carolina is home for me....all of my family is here. It would be especially hard for me to leave my grandmother who is not doing well physically since she had her stroke a couple of years ago.

• I love the school where I teach...Eli will be starting kindergarten there next year. I am sure there are good schools in Maryland, but Easley is "home" for us.

• Finding a place to live with 3 big dogs would be quite a challenge.

We continue to pray about this situation, because we know that not having their Daddy around on a daily basis is not what is best for our boys. Perhaps an awesome job will open up in NC...but when Jarrod was looking before, every door was slammed shut. God is using this time apart to help make our relationship stronger....it sounds crazy, but with Jarrod gone all week we have gotten "closer" as a family. The boys are so excited when he comes home on the weekends. They spend a lot of great quality time together when he is home. He's like a rockstar...when they see him they start screaming, "DADDY!!!"

I frequently remind myself that he could be deployed in Afghanistan....or a truck driver gone for weeks at a time...or at home working crazy hours and always stressed out...or working a dangerous job causing me to worry about his safety all the time...or unemployed and depressed...

At least he is only 5 hours away...and he has driven all night to get home to help me with a sick kid...and I know he would be here ASAP if I needed him.

So, that was a VERY long answer to a simple question...no, we are not planning to move to Maryland...but if he got a job offer in Tahiti.....see ya! :)

Questions/Suggestions

A few of you have recently suggested different ideas/topics/stories that I should write about on this blog. I love hearing your suggestions!! If you have an idea...or a question you would like me to answer...please let me know!! You can email it to me at walkerfamily94@gmail.com or send me a Facebook message or leave a comment on this post! I can't wait to read some of your ideas! :)

17

With Valentine's Day approaching, I thought this would be the perfect time to write a post about my sweet hubby!

We have been married 17 years...our 18th Anniversary is in August! Here are 17 reasons why I love this man....

(in no particular order)

1. He isn't afraid to show his emotions, especially around our boys. He teaches them that it is ok to cry when you are sad and even when you're happy. He cried when both of our children were born; he cried when the military presented me and my sister with the flag at our Dad's memorial service; he cried when we found out we were pregnant....all 3 times.

2. He is the strongest man I know! If someone needs help moving, they know that Jarrod is the man to call. At the beginning of the school year my classroom was a mess because furniture had been moved to clean the floors, so Jarrod came and moved everything for me...of course he wasn't too happy when I kept changing my mind about where to put things. :)

3. He is such a hardworker! I have known quite a few lazy men in my life....Jarrod is NOT one of those men! He will go to work when he is sick, work overtime even when he doesn't get paid for it, go above and beyond what's required to get the job done.

4. He WANTS to provide for our family. Working in the communications/technology field, Jarrod has been through a few job lay-offs. During one period of unemployment, he went to work at Blockbuster because he was determined to do something to provide for his family, even if the money wasn't great. He has worked every shift and schedule imaginable. He is willing to do whatever it takes for his family...he is even willing to chase bats our of our house!!! Eeeek!

5. He has the BEST laugh! If Jarrod thinks something is funny, you will know it....everyone in the theater will know it...and probably everyone in the next theater will know it, too!

6. He is polite and teaches our boys that it is so important to use good manners. So many people have told me how impressed they are with the way our boys (ages 4 and 7) will hold doors open for people, say yes ma'am, please, and thank you....I tell them it's because they have learned it from their Daddy! I work with several people who knew Jarrod in Jr. High and High School....they constantly tell me what a polite and kind young man he was, even back then.

7. He loves me...not only does he tell me, but he shows me! He will probably kill me for writing this...but when I was pregnant he shaved my legs for me! He rubs my feet and tells me to go take a nap when he knows that I am exhausted. Since he can't be home to help me during the week, on the weekends he pampers me!

8. He is just a big kid...he wrestles with our boys, plays legos with them, rides roller coasters and water slides with them, teaches them to play video games...

9. He loves animals, expecially our 3 dogs. He teaches our boys to love and protect the dogs. They are learning the importance of caring for other living creatures....learning responsibility and compassion.

10. He drives 10 hours every weekend to come home and see his family. He wouldn't do that if we weren't the most important priority in his life. It isn't easy for him to be away from us all week, but he knows that he needs this job so that we can spend more quality time together....taking the boys to Washington, DC...meeting at Kings Dominion to spend the weekend together...

11. He is generous. We have becomes great friends with a single mom. She takes care of our boys with little or no notice. She volunteers to let them spend the night with her. She is like family to us. We have helped her out over the years. It always amazes me how generous Jarrod can be....if she asks to borrow $20 he will say, "Give her $50." If she asks for help paying her past due electric bill, he will say, "Pay the entire balance." There are people who have told us that we should take care of our own family and put more money into savings. While this is true, we also know that God has called us all to care for the widows and that is what I consider her since her husband left her with 5 children to care for. I love my husband for his generous and loving spirit.

12. He treats me like a princess. When I told him that I splurged and got a pedicure yesterday, he said, "Thank you." What?! Why would he say that?? (Maybe he was tired of my scratchy heels!) He actually said that it makes him happy when I take time and care for myself since I always spend so much time caring for others. What a sweet man!

13. He will go shopping with me and the clothes that he picks out for me always look better than the ones I choose. Seriously....every outfit he has picked out for me gets tons of compliments...it can actually get annoying! :)

14. He loves Disney World! We've taken the boys twice and Jarrod also did a half marathon with me...a month after he was bitten by a snake on the foot! We can't wait to plan another trip...hopefully this fall, but it all depends on what happens with his new job responsibilities. Our summer and fall plans may need to be modified....but that is fine with me, as long as we are together!

15. He is passionate about the things that he loves....college basketball, technology, Star Wars, NCIS, his dogs, his family....(those aren't in order of importance!)

16. He isn't too proud to admit when he is wrong and apologizes. If he loses his temper with his boys, he will apologize to them. When he recently had an issue at work, he went to a person that he was kind of rude to and apologized for taking his bad mood out on her. Whenever we argue, 90% of the time he will be the first to apologize (of course that's because he was WRONG and he knew it...ha ha!)

17. He loves God and is the perfect leader for our family. I thank God for the man Jarrod has become during our 17 years of marriage. Is he perfect? No. But, he is perfect for me!! We have had some bad times....some VERY bad times. By the grace of God, our marriage has survived and gotten stronger.

Happy Valentine's Day, Sweetie! Thank you for putting up with me for all these years! I love you!

Fun Friday

I couldn't come up with a catchy name for this post. I figured the best title would be Fun Friday, because overall I had a really good day.

I got a lot accomplished at work today. I spent some extra time doing paperwork...I know that doesn't sound fun...but I made myself finish a couple of things that have been on my "To Do" list for a long time. I felt relieved after checking those items off the list!

After work I had about 2 hours to myself....Joseph was at his after school program and Eli was at preschool. I really should have come home and worked on some decluttering projects...but I didn't! Nope, instead I went and got a pedicure. It had been a LONG time since my last pedicure. Jarrod even recently made a comment about my rough, scratchy heels. I took that as his way of saying, "Sweetie, you really need to go and get a pedicure. I think the VIP treatment is in order!" After being pampered and reading a current copy of Us Weekly, I picked up the boys and we headed to Subway for dinner! The boys love their subs and I can't pass up the $5 footlongs (now I have lunch for tomorrow....unless Jarrod finds my leftovers in the fridge when he gets home from Maryland.)

I am really looking forward to a fun weekend with my family and friends from church!
With Love,
Dana

More Pantry Progress

Finally....before/after pictures of another pantry shelf decluttered! Now 2 shelves are organized....I'm slowly making progress!

My project was to organize foil and plastic bags.

I decluttered the entire shelf. Much better now!

February Photo Challenge

I found a challenge on Pinterest to take a photo each day in February. There is even a list to follow....you know I love this type of challenge.

February 1st - Your View

This was my view as I walked down the hallway. The boys decided to have a picnic in Eli's room. :) Too bad the room is such a mess! I need to get back to my decluttering projects!

February 2nd - Words

My mother-in-law made this for us after we got married! I can't believe in August we will celebrate 18 years!! :) I love my husband and I'm so glad he's stuck with me through the good times and bad. At the bottom of the frame you can see a small stain....that's a story for another blog post! ;)